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Saturday, August 30, 2008

Tibetan Exile Brothers Connection

The first I heard about JJI Exile Brothers was from my son Kevin, who had spent some time in McLeodganj, the town above Dharamsala where the Dalai Lama lives. By the way, in Hindi, Dharamsala means “abode of people in pursuit of the Divine”. Dharamsalas are hostels on pilgrim routes, where pilgrims or sadhus (wandering holy men) can find refuge for the night.

Kevin told us about the best restaurant in town, with the nicest staff, the healthiest food and the most interesting music.


He also mentionned that JJI were three brothers, rock musicians and really nice guys. Once we had settled at the yoga center in Dharamkot, we went a mile down the road to McLeodganj, to eat at JJI Exile brothers on Bhagsu Road. The restaurant we entered was really intimate, with 4 tables seating a maximum of 20 people.

We rapidly became regulars. We came for the family who runs it, with Tashi-Tashi, the brothers’ uncle and Niema, the brothers’ mother and Tashi’s sister, the two of them most often in charge of the place; and for Max, the gifted young cook.

Romantic evening ambiance during monsoon power shortages


We would study the antique decorations on the walls, read the dozens of faded cards and notes sent by customers from around the world, listen to the outstanding, eclectic choice of music, and of course taste the homemade, healthy Tibetan and Italian cuisine. In the evenings the ambiance would sometimes have a romantic touch, especially when monsoon rain power shortages would have us eat by candlelight, one candle per table.

Jigme and Max preparing dumplings and salsa


Tashi, Niema and Max have this warm, humble and deep authentic presence that we found in the whole family. Tashi and Max would frequently ask me for updates on Kevin' travels throughout India and Nepal, as they had made friends with him before his departure.

While eating we could hear Niema read the Hindustan Times in English to other Tibetan women sitting together. Like most everyone in McLeodganj, they would follow every statement, commentary or trip account concerning His Holiness the Dalai Lama. After all, she had immigrated as a child just a couple of years after he had, when the Chinese invaded Tibet in 1958, and had lived here ever since then longing for the day her country would peacefully regain its freedom and her family could go home.

One evening, as we were savoring our favorite dishes, –Thunthuk for Kamala, a Tibetan soup of fresh vegetables, subtle spices and fresh home made flat noodles, and cheese gnocchi for me -, a young man with a round face, dark mid-long curly hair and a warm, outgoing smile introduced himself. Jamyang, the older of the brothers sat down next to us, and, as we were commenting on the unique quality of the ‘40s and ‘50s crooner music playing that evening, gave us the short story of JJI.

The brothers’ Tibetan rock band, “JJI Exile brothers” had become increasingly famous several years ago, touring in the US and Europe, and generating a large following among their generation of Tibetan refugees in India. They recorded a CD that Jamyang popped on for us; it was a mix of traditional Tibetan music, rock, blues, country, and poetic ballades, all admirably composed, with Tibetan lyrics. Track four started with a few notes, immediately awakening a deep, stirring melancholy. As I shared my feeling with Jamyang, he explained that the song was called “If” and talked about what life would be like for his people if the Chinese invasion of Tibet had never happened.


The Three JJI Exile brothers, rehearsing in the basement before the concert,


and at the restaurant jam session


Regarding the Tibetan topic, India is in a challenging position. Tensions with neighboring China continue to make the headlines on several inter-related topics: the sensitivity of India hosting the Dalai Lama and the Tibetan Government in Exile, the waves of incoming refugees, as well as the indefinite border between Northern India and China, since a brief border war in 1962. See http://www.nytimes.com/2008/03/19/world/asia/19india.html.

A quiet yet very present tension exists between Indians and Tibetans in the areas that have welcomed increasing numbers of refugees, currently estimated at around 100 000. Quiet because there is rarely any visible outbreak between non-violent Tibetans and peaceful Himalayan Indians; present because when you start asking about the topic, the Indians will share their frustration and irritation about the economic gaps between refugees and locals. While the Indian government and many NGOs are financially helping the Tibetan exiles, numbers of locals are still living in dire poverty. There is certainly a lot to be said from both sides; the Indians are more sensitive to the economics, while the Tibetans can legitimately question their uncertain future as refugees in a hosting land. These are just some complexities of the reality of Tibetan refugees that are visible only from here.

I asked Jamyang if the brothers ever put-on any concerts in McLeodganj. They hadn’t been playing in concerts for the past couple of years, he explained, other than in Vienna a few weeks earlier and in Amsterdam back in January... He told us they held regular music jams at the restaurant on Sunday nights and invited us over. That proved to be a challenge, as we rose before 5:00 am and started yoga practice at 6:00. We rarely would go down to McLeod to spend the evening…

Several weeks later, late June, after my 6-day return trip to New York for my daughter Meaghan’s graduation, Kamala and I decided to have lunch at JJI to celebrate my return. It was the ideal way to come back to the very particular pulse of McLeodganj and its surroundings.


As we greeted Niema and settled at our table, I was intrigued by some little flyers she was writing on. She told us the brothers were having a concert a week later, with a guest star, Raf, on the saxophone. When Jamyang came in towards the end of our meal I shared my excitement with him. We would actually hear them in concert before we left the area! He proposed that we come to listen to them rehearsing later that afternoon.

I postponed the visit to the next day, showed up at the restaurant to notice drum and electric guitar sounds arising somewhere from the rear of the restaurant. Max took me down the outdoor stairs, over some corrugated tin roofing the rain had made slippery a few minutes earlier, down a few more moldy cement steps and into to their small practice room. It was decorated with Tibetan images, prayer flags, graffiti, and crammed with a chaos of instruments, amplifiers and cables.



JJI stands for the 3 brothers’ names in order of age: Jamyang (Bass and lead vocals), Jigme (lead guitar, vocals) and Ingsel (drums and vocals). They were ending their first rehearsal set with Raf, so I had time to listen to a couple of songs before their break. Raf has been living in McLeodganj for a couple of years now, developing his personal style and composing for alto saxophone and clarinet, and attending meditation retreats. He had met the Brothers a few months earlier, but had only played with them a few times at the Sunday evening restaurant jam sessions.

He kindly offered me to play on his alto saxophone during the break. This was an exceptional treat since I hadn’t blown into a sax since I had moved out of my apartment in January! Jamyang and Raf stuck around and we had a little jam based on my very modest jazz repertoire. I was having a fabulous time; playing with musician friends contrasted from the more serious things we had been focusing on during our trip… personal discipline, fasting, learning and practicing yoga with the associated efforts and pains…

Talking with Jigme at the break, I learned that when the group was at its peak, several tragedies hit family and friends. The JJI Brothers lost their desire to play, tour and live the life of stage stars. They felt the loss in their family and the weight and despair of the cause they were advocating; the tragedy of their people became even more real to them through their own hardships.

Chinese government policies have been geared to eliminate and completely eradicate Tibetans from the cultural, social and economic picture by marginalizing them in their own country. These policies include taking housing away for a variety of “reasons”, moving Tibetans to ghettos, providing employment exclusively to the thousands of Chinese immigrants that arrive every week in Lhasa, making public schools not only payment based but too expensive for any unemployed Tibetan family to afford. Now Tibetan children are actually being kept away from public education in their own homeland.

The finishing of the direct Chinese train line to Tibet has since a couple of years drastically increased the number of Chinese immigrants coming to Tibet as a land of opportunity. Lhasa has been developed from the centuries old mythical spiritual center into a downtown of karaoke bars, brothels and gambling halls. “political prisoners” have been detained against human rights and monks demonstrating pacific resistance systematically tortured.

Many well documented films have been made on the topic. If you are interested in knowing more, look into the following documentaries : "Tibet: The Cry of the Snowlion", "Windhorse", "Dreaming of Tibet", "Tibet's Stolen Child".
http://www.studentsforafreetibet.org/article.php?id=83
http://www.studentsforafreetibet.org/

Jigme Mandul, friend, protest artist and stage performer /acrobat


Jigme Mandul painted half Tibetan flag, half skull.


The structured policies of the Chinese government have pushed young men towards rackets, drugs and alcohol and young women to prostitution. Despite a high degree of sympathy in principle for the Tibetan cause, the world continues to ignore how systematic and effective China has been in executing this program for the past 50 years.

For several years the Brothers had stopped playing, dropping into depression, “auto-medication” and hopelessness.

Raf explained later that the Amsterdam and Vienna concerts earlier this year had brought back some hope, re-building their interest to resume more serious music endeavors. He had started playing frequently with Jamyang over the past two months and this had just recently stimulated Jigme and Ingsel to want to play all together again. When I met them they were actually just starting to rehearse together as a group. Jamyang had the idea of planning a local concert and the date was set for July 6th, the location was Yongling Crèche and Kindergarten school hall on Jogiwara Road. They had but a week to prepare…

The practice resumed an hour or so later as I sat in a small humid corner, listening and observing how photogenic this tiny room tucked below the restaurant was. I could envision the beauty of some natural light pictures with the graffiti walls, the Tibetan decorations and the youthful energy they exuded. I had just brought a camera from New York and had found a perfect subject to explore! As they enthusiastically agreed for me to come back the next day with my camera, I thought it was definitely going to be a lot of fun, combining my passions for photography, music and for discovering people. It was going to be their first concert in McLeodganj for 3 years and had all the oomph of a come-back. And I wanted to encourage them and help turn the volume up!

The idea of having a Tibetan rock concert in McLeod had its detractors, even though the Brothers called it “The Freedom Concert”. Since the violent Chinese repression of Tibetan protests in April that cost the lives to hundreds of Tibetans and imprisonment to hundreds more, there was a moratorium on any public Tibetan entertainment.


Daily candle vigils at 6:30 pm in McLeodganj


Even the usual performance of the TIPA (Tibetan Institute of Performing Arts) for His Holiness’ birthday at the Dalai Lama’s temple in McLeod was cancelled this year. Protests throughout India and the regular evening candle vigils in McLeodganj were the only accepted forms of Tibetan public gatherings. This was one of the many ways for the Tibetan refugees to express their solidarity with their brothers and sisters back home.

To make a long story short, there were several days of practice below the restaurant and final rehearsal at the school. The sound equipment was minimal, several instruments feeding into the same amplifiers, microphones and guitar pickups crackling, cable problems to be soldered at the last minute. Raf and the brothers worked on details and solos of each song, while I took dozens of pictures, distributed flyers, put posters up and played some saxophone now and then.

The concert date had been chosen by chance, and happened to be the birthday of His Holiness the Dalai Lama. This was a very special day in Dharamsala. We had endured full monsoon weather for the past month with regular downpours, grey, foggy skies and very little sun. We had spent up to 10 days without seeing the sun at all.
Then, the day of the Dalai Lama’s birthday, in McLeodganj where His Holiness is established, the sun shone intensely in a perfectly blue sky all afternoon. It was as though we had been living in a bowl and the lid had been taken off, revealing a world above us that we had forgotten……the colors, the immensity and the depth.


Find the sign! The modest signage to direct people down the path


Everything was almost ready. Jigme, a cousin, and I made up a few last minute signs indicating where the concert was, out of paper bags from the grocery store next door, and taped them to the walls on Jogiwara road.



By the time the concert started, the hundreds of Tibetans, Indians and tourists from Korea, Japan, US, Europe and Israel that had lined up for their 100 rupee ($2.5) tickets had filled the school hall. Jigme, the cousin, lit candles along the stage as Niema welcomed everyone with words of peaceful protest and unconditional support for the guidance of His Holiness the Dalai Lama. Then everyone joined in for a special Happy Birthday song. The concert took the form of an unassuming protest, with on-stage activist live-art creation, a painted dancing protestor and the activist lyrics of their songs.

Family and friends were volunteering at the desert and beverage table, serving homemade cakes, hot chai and soft drinks poured into plastic cups from half gallon bottles bought at the local grocery store. It really felt like a neighborhood fund-raiser, which in fact it was. All the proceeds were collected to buy a washing machine and dryer for a Tibetan old folks’ home.

The event was a big success. The audience was ecstatic, appreciating a rare live rock concert and the Brothers’ talent and overflowing energy level. With more than 300 tickets sold, the retirement home would get its appliances. The brothers had made a statement about their passion for their art and their audience.
We left around 10 pm, shortly before the end; when I saw the group the next day they were worn out. I think it was the emotional rush of being on stage again… in their home town.
In the following days I created a slideshow from the best of the rehearsal and concert pictures and distributed it to family and friends. It was my way of acknowledging the Brothers’ fine talent and encouraging them to be themselves in their art form.

Every Sunday evening the restaurant is transformed into a little theater for the jam session. Jigme offered that I play a couple of songs on the saxophone with them the following Sunday. That week was like the sequel of the previous one; we got to spend more time together, this time rehearsing “Gypsy”, a ballade evoking the migrant lives of refugees that Raf composed, and “ The Rose“ a blues -rock tune about freedom.

Rehearsing for the jam session

with Raf and Jamyang


The instruments and amps created a small stage space in the back of the restaurant and seating room for about 25 people was set up after ending the dinner service early and piling the few tables in the street. Tibetans and tourists filled the room while Niema served chai and deserts. After half an hour of music, Bhagsu Road was filled with people glued to the windows of the restaurant and listening from the street.



Kamala told us it was the evening she had the most enjoyed since we arrived in Dharamkot, 3 months earlier. It was such a blessing for me to actually work on a couple of tunes with musician friends and to perform with them in such an intimate, friendly atmosphere. I had spent a lot of time getting to know the brothers and family, my incursion into the world of Tibetan exiles in McLeodganj.


Looking at the concert pictures


The restaurant jam session


After the concert of the previous week, the Exile Brothers had made their come back to the McLeodganj scene and were making plans to tour the Tibetan schools in the area and share their art with refugee children. The next day Kamala and I started our Vipassana meditation retreat for 10 days… The day it ended, on our way to the train, we went to have lunch with Niema. She and her sons had gone to the US Consulate in Delhi to obtain visas to play in a couple of concerts in New York and the Midwest in the following month. The visas were not granted. Niema thought it could be because the Consulate was of Indian origin…
Our new family in Mcleodganj...
As Jigme put it one day, when I wanted to pay for our meal:
“Why would you pay? It separates us. Don't. We are together.”
On leaving McLeodganj, what we left behind was our Tibetan family.
That some day very soon we will come back to be with... and just be with...

Niema and Kamala


In the meantime, the Brothers are still preparing their tour of the schools and spending time sitting in front of JJI restaurant on Bhagsu Road in McLeodganj. They might be shooting the breeze, or composing their next tune, planning their next CD, or wondering again about that eternal homeland they have never yet seen...

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Purkal Youth Development Society

The day before yesterday we visited a small, local NGO called Purkal Youth Development Society (for editing purposes I'm taking the freedom to use an acronym PYDS) www.purkal.org, strongly endorsed by our yoga teachers. The Swami couple created the first program 10 years ago when they started to help a few local children with their studying. Since then they have made it their full time occupation. It was introduced to us by Rajiv, our yoga teacher and Guy, an English teacher who came to Rajpur to study yoga a year ago and has been full time volunteer at Purkal for the past 6 months, involved in teaching, general project management and administration.

Twenty fellow yoga students signed up for the visit and congregated in the afternoon rain at the yoga hall. The PYDS school bus took us through the winding hills in the back country of Dehradun, crossing a couple of streams with half a foot of water before getting to the PYDS site. We were welcomed with South Indian cuisine and chai, before attending presentations, buying handicrafts and mingling with the children.



Purkal’s goal is “To provide opportunities for disadvantaged rural youth through education”, and “To empower rural women through skill development and training, giving them a chance to earn a wage comparable to those living in cities”. That’s pretty down to earth and easy to relate to.

Yuva Shakti project
Purkal has been taking care of 125 children ages 10 to 18 from the most disadvantaged families in the closest village, Purkal Goan. The children are provided with daily nutritious food, space for educational assistance, access to resources such as a library, computers with internet connection, exposure to the broader world through special guests or informational trips and skill-based career guidance. They have extended to more than twenty 9 year olds this year. The younger children are taught basic school topics and computer skills to prepare them for admission and success at the better junior, mid and high schools in Dehradun, 8 km away. The children are individually cared for to ensure that they are doing well and will be successful throughout their education… all the way through college.





Without PYDS, these children would never even dream of going to these schools, much less actually consider some day attending college! Some of these children are best of their class; one of the teenage girls has been selected to attend a two week youth leadership conference in Singapore.

By the time we were mid-way through the presentations a deluvian rainfall was pounding on the tin roof to the extent that it was difficult to hear the younggirl who was addressing us. The road to the center still being under , we had a 10 mn walk to get back to the bus; not to speak about driving in the deluge -including over the streams we had crossed on the way in... We were wondering how long we would be blocked when Sarah, another volunteer, from Oregon, told us that during the monsoon season they often needed to wait in the evening for the rain to calm down in order to get back home. In the past 3 months we've gotten quite used to the ways of the monsoon and were having a great time looking at the handicrafts and talking with the children, with Swami and Chinni and the staff.

Stree Shakti project
Purkal also created a women's professional development group that makes patchwork quilts and bags. It empowers local women with workspace, professional know how as well as management skills like basic accounting and administration. The women self-manage their finances, sales, costs etc… so nothing goes through the parent organization. This project generates economic stability for income starved families. The group is currently composed of 60 women and growing. Most of Swami and Chinni’s house has been used for years to produce the handicrafts; they have plans for a workshop/raw material storage/finished goods sales room that they are hoping to fund in the coming months. This will allow them to double the number of women working within the program.




Swami and Chinni believe they can help change the impoverished villagers’ powerless state of mind. Powerless because they feel there is no way to can change their condition - for example getting their kids into a good school (how and what for?), or finding a stable job (where and how?). The vicious circle of poverty has been at work, providing little or no resources to them, be it education, information, skills training or self confidence building.


The Swami’s are concretely demonstrating through PYDS that the villagers can actually get themselves out of the present condition with some help, determination and hard work. The emphasis is on creating ways to generate regular revenue, in contrast to the uncertain labor jobs in construction, carrying bricks or mortar for a few hours or a day at a time.

Swami explained to us that the self confidence is already improving around the community, with the success of the women’s quilt groups.


Swami and Chinni deem that community transformation will come mainly from the women, which is why PYDS is mostly focusing on them. I shared with Swami that the experiment of empowering women had been greatly successful in Africa, as they are weavers of the community and take the responsibility of building the future.







Another aspect of PYDS master plan is to provide basic hygienic living conditions to the all families in need. After having electricity brought to several hamlets, this past year they had 50 toilets and washrooms installed in houses and have the plan to install 300 more in the year to come. Women and children die every year, while using the fields for toilets, from Cobras that come out, especially during monsoon.

What an realization, for a single couple who 10 years ago started tutoring a few children, to grow the vision that they could change the world by starting at their doorstep. I wouldn’t even try to talk about accomplishments with them, knowing that their perspective is solely focused on what more they can get done tomorrow, or by the end of this year. We were totally inspired by both of them. They radiate compassionate care combined with knowledge and down to earth pragmatism.

This is a fantastic, locally created and run, low-overhead, high-output organization. Every cent goes to materials, projects, food, transportation etc.
So what do 140 children and 60 women represent in a land of 1 200 000 000 people? I think they are the proof that local grass root initiatives can change the world… one village at a time, for ever.





How can we help?
I have rarely had the opportunity to see first hand the efforts and the results of an organization like this, which I came across totally by chance. I know that my family and friends are very sensitive to the divide between our living conditions and those of many people in the world. Also, we know it’s tricky to choose where to send our contributions and be confident that they will be used effectively.

PYDS staff has many, many ideas of simple things to accomplish its vision; the main limitation is funding. If you are touched by what Swami and Chinni are doing, there are several ways to contribute. You can choose a full-child or a half-child sponsorship, or a donation for a project or school supplies. You too can be part of a hands-on rural development project that is changing people’s lives every day in Purkal Goan. Have a look at the website that has all the information and pass this along to people you think might like to help too.

Imagine how Purkal will be when just these 150 children have all gone to high school and college…



Contact information:
http://www.purkal.org/
purkalsociety@hotmail.com
Purkal.society@gmail.com





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Sunday, August 10, 2008

The monastic experience of Vipassana meditation

I practiced different forms of meditation for some years in the ‘80s in France, as member of a traditional spiritual school. In the past 15 years, I only practiced occasionally, to rediscover meditation in 2003 while going through a major life crisis. Since then I felt the need to resume a regular, intentional practice.

I first heard of Vipassana a couple of years ago from Kamala. She had done a 10 day retreat near Yosemite, in California, and was deeply affected by the experience and its impact on her state of mind and on her meditation practice. My son Kevin was also a role model for me, as he recently did two retreats a few months apart and felt a deep and positive impact both times. I was now resolute to experience it for myself during our quest in India.

Vipassana meditation (
www.dhamma.org) is the technique that brought Prince Siddhartha Gautama to his enlightment and the state of Buddha, 2500 years ago. He disseminated it until the end of his life to help people liberate themselves from suffering. Vipassana means introspection and insight into the impermanent nature of mind and body.

In a nutshell, the core of Buddha’s Vipassana teaching is that one can only be liberated by one’s own discipline, by learning to experience one’s own physical sensations with awareness and equanimity, by not reacting to these sensations. His teaching is very pragmatic and advocates direct, individual experience.

I’m attempting to make a profound topic as succinct as I can and to do it justice at the same time. Please bear with me and don’t discard the topic altogether if it seems a bit long (6 pages)! It’s a dense topic; you may need to have a second look at a sentence or a paragraph here or there. And if you have little interest in self development, meditation and Buddhism, this account may be irrelevant to you. I’ll introduce the theoretical basis of this Buddhist practice in my own words and understanding and then relate my recent experience.

Key words/concepts:
- perceptions: what our senses perceive from the outer world, including thoughts
- sensations: how we interpret perceptions into pleasant or unpleasant feelings; the basic sensations are pleasure or pain
- reactions: how our mind reacts to sensations. We crave pleasure and have aversion to pain
- impermanence: ever-changing arising and passing away of molecules, instants, sensations, thoughts, emotions, etc…
- awareness: heightened focus on our physical sensations and our mind’s reactions to them
- sankharas: sources of our reactions, memorized past cravings and aversions
- equanimity: equal, level attitude towards all sensations and events, whether “pleasant” or “unpleasant”.

Perceptions, Sensation and Reactions
Buddha’s experience revealed to him that suffering is an inherent part of human existence. The cause of suffering is that every sensorial perception we have from the outside world creates a sensation, to which in turn we have a reaction. Our basic reactions could be summarized as Like / Dislike, Want / Don’t want.

He observed that the source of our suffering is the constant antagonism of our mind’s Craving or Aversion reactions to our sensations. When we crave, we want a physical sensation produced by an object, an emotion, a thought, and suffer when we can’t get it, or enough of it, or at the time we want it, or the way we want it. Conversely, when we have an aversion to a physical sensation produced by an object, an emotion, a thought, we avoid it, are anxious about it, don’t want it.

Pleasure vs. Pain, Like vs. Dislike, Craving vs. Aversion, Wanting vs. Non-wanting.

Impermanence of reality, matter and existence
Through his years of analytical, inner discovery by means of meditation, Buddha directly experienced the impermanence of all matter and of existence as a succession of split-second moments and a constant flow of sub-atomic particles (that he named “kalapa”), incessantly coming to life and passing away, which make up physical reality. Through his direct experience he identified that everything is energy and vibration, since then demonstrated by quantum physics during the 20th century.

He understood that our mind weaves this ephemeral flow into a stable representation of time and of self to provide us with a durable, securing image of ourselves (ego) and of the world. He also observed that we develop deep and firm attachments to the representations we construct.
Who we are or are not, what the world is and isn’t, what feels good, what feels bad; what we like, what we dislike. Again, his quest was to understand and overcome the origin of human suffering.

Awareness of our sensations and the practice of Non-reacting
He experienced that within this transient, ever changing state of reality, any given sensation in our physical body has a very limited span of life. Be it a pleasurable sensation or a painful one, just like everything else, it arises and passes away. Inevitably, incessantly.

He found that practicing a fully aware, individual experience of these physical sensations and developing the mastery of the mind to not react to them through meditation is a doorway leading to personally and directly accessing the impermanent nature of existence. This is goal of the practice of Vipassana.

An Equanimous attitude in life
When we overcome the craving and aversion reactions to our physical sensations, and observe them for what they are –mere sensations, constantly arising and passing away–, we learn to develop an inner state of equanimity. This attitude can then prevail over all the sensations we experience: external events, thoughts, physical well/illness, human interactions …

The origin of suffering being our constant craving and aversion reactions to the sensations we experience, by developing equanimity and experiencing impermanence, we can eradicate our suffering.

How Vipassana developed in the past 40 years
The technique had been lost over centuries in India and other Asian countries, but was passed down in its original form through oral tradition, in Pali, the language spoken at the time of Buddha, within secluded Buddhist monasteries in Myanmar (formerly Burma).
S.N. Goenka, an Indian business man born and raised in Myanmar, came across it as a last recourse to treat chronic migraine, after seeking help in vain from the most eminent European and American doctors. After his parents retired back to India, he went there to teach it to them for their aging ailments. His courses generated a following and since 1969 it has broadly developed worldwide with some 75 full-time retreat centers. Dozens of thousands of students from all religions and venues of life come to learn Vipassana every year. The instruction has neither dogma nor ritual and the training centers are only funded through donations of former students.

My experience
We started our retreat on July 14th after packing our bags for our next leg of travel and leaving them at the yoga center. We would then leave Dharamkot -where we had spent the past 4 months- the day we finished the retreat and head directly to bus and train that would take us to our next yoga venue, 24 hours of travel away, in Rajpur near Rishikesh.

Number of fellow yoga students were finishing or undertaking Vipassana; the week preceding our retreat there was a lot of buzz around us, people sharing stories, opinions and emotions on the topic. I was enthusiastic, though apprehensive. I was above all trusting it would be a deep, transformational experience. It ended-out being beyond anything I would have imagined…

I was concerned by having to sit for extended periods of time, wondering if I would be able to quiet my hyperactive mind as well as my fidgety body. Vipassana is a silent retreat so there is no talking, eye contact or any sort of communication with fellow meditators. I was intimidated by the idea of 10 days of full silence, thinking my inner voices would become unbearably loud!

Then I read the schedule…
4:00 - 4:30 am wake up and wash
4:30 – 6:30 group meditation
6:30 – 8:00 breakfast and rest
8:00 – 11:00 group meditation (with a 5-10 minute break)
11:00 – 1:00 lunch and rest
1:00-5:00 group meditation (with a couple of 5-10 minute breaks)
5:00-6:00 dinner snack
6:00-7:00 group meditation
7:00-8:30 discourse (SN Goenka video)
8:30-9:00 group meditation
9:30 lights out

“About 100 hours… this is a LOT of silent, closed-eye meditation!” I remember saying to myself.

The Dharamkot Vipassana center is simple and modest, a few buildings on a small hill top covered with pine trees, overlooking the valley and surrounding mountains, and generously watered by the Himalaya Monsoon rains that make the grounds soggy and the living quarters moldy and for some even wet. The grounds, meditation hall and dining room are divided for men and women, and the one hundred students sleep in either dormitories or cells. I was lucky to get a cell, maybe was it due to the “50” in the age box on my registration form?

My cell was made of cement blocks, 7 feet by 5, so there was just room for a bed and a little bed table.

Any contact with the outer world is prohibited as well as any distracting activities such as reading, listening to music; writing/journaling, drawing etc…. it felt like I was going into monkhood. Goenka explained later that this is by design. Vipassana being a Buddhist inspired practice, trust is granted to students to respect the precepts without enforcement or policing.

I had given the travel clock to Kamala and surrendered my cell phone to the valuables check-in, so the first days I was without any notion of time other than the gong ringing when it was time to go meditate or eat. I was curious to see what it would feel like to live without any way of telling time. After all, how many times does that happen in the life of an adult? It was strange…When napping the first few days I would wake up not knowing if I had slept 15 minutes or an hour. Then a couple of –very- early mornings I got up, excited to start the day, thinking I was a bit ahead of the crowd for showering, to discover the first time that I was 1 hour ahead, at 3:00 am… and the second time that it was 1:30 am! I had slept 4 hours, was showered, with wet hair walking around the center at 1:30 am, feeling genuinely brainless! So I got a clock. From then on, I most often awoke around 3:30 to have time to shower, shave and be well-awake for the 4:30 morning meditation. Mid-way through the early morning session I would go out for a few minutes, stretch my back and legs, and gaze through the tall trees to admire the emerging dawn bring the small valley to life.

The meditation method evolved over the course of the retreat. The first 3 days, we focused on observing incoming and outgoing breath. Not controlling it, just observing; This is called “Anapana”. The idea is for the mind to be completely concentrated. Of course, at the first opportunity my mind starts to stray, so I bring it back to my breath… And it strays again. So I bring it back again. Then it decides to literally take off, on any topic of its choice; what happened yesterday, or last year, our family Christmas in LA, what will happen tomorrow; what about when we get out in 9 days from now? 9 days, wow, how long will that be? How will I start my long-due blog, let’s see,…? And by the way, what’s for breakfast, what time is it, what’s for lunch, what about Obama, how is Kamala doing?...

As Goenka would say, my mind was just like a monkey, jumping from one branch to another, then to the next, and the next… Like the dozens of monkeys we shared the grounds with, that trampled on the tin roofs above the sleeping quarters.

As the second day went by, my mind’s wandering drastically calmed down. The duration and frequency of mind-straying reduced and the simple focus on breath observation, as well as maintaining a straight posture, became all-absorbing. I started to feel unknown, subtle aspects of my breathing, such as differences between inhale and exhale air quality, moisture, temperature or facial micro-movements. The slight pull of my upper lip inwards and upwards when inhaling; a similar movement in my forehead and temporal skin, a tightening of my nostril rings and of the skin inside my nose... With the quieting I became aware of sensations I was otherwise completely oblivious to. A more subtle and refined experience of my body began.

The tight and well designed schedule left no room for distraction or restlessness. At breaks we would watch the ever-entertaining show of the monkey families in the trees and the roofs of the center, alternating with contemplation of the monsoon rain pouring through the trees. Little naps and short strolls were about all that would fit into the rest periods. I took time off from meditation sessions a couple of occasions when I felt I had crossed my learning threshold, so I was able to fit in some yoga practice, either stretching on my bed or doing postures in one of the small meditation halls. This was a treasure; my body was… craving for it!

In the mean time I was attempting to cope with the long hours of sitting, asking my body to stay cross legged or kneeling for hours at length. This body that was feeling hurts and aches, displaced vertebrae, pinched inter-coastal nerve pains wrapping around my chest, cutting my upper chest breathing. The one that was definitely feeling its age with its ankle and knee joint tensions.

Having just practiced 3 ½ months of Iyengar yoga which is all based on alignment, I was attentive to keep my spine naturally straight, ie. having my tailbone on a firm surface, at perfect height and my legs at a proper angle. We had access to a number of cushions to prop ourselves but most of them were too soft. On the second day I asked Krishna, our teacher, for a chair to sit in due to my infirmities, past accidents and high pain level. I was feeling really miserable and had all the best reasons to justify my request; after all, I have a handicap and even need to adapt yoga postures to my condition, so sitting for hours at length… He declined! He let me know that it was normal to feel a lot of discomfort on day 2 and that it would go away as time went on. Krishna was definitely not my best friend that afternoon. Now not only was I dealing with discomfort and pain, but with my request being declined… This was real work for my ego!
And 8 more days to go? With equanimity???

Every evening we would view a 75 minute video “discourse” by SN Goenka, covering the technique as well as a number of Buddhist precepts relative to achieving liberation and enlightment: Sila, Morality, the purity of wholesome vocal and physical actions; Samadhi, the Mastery/control of one’s Mind; and Panna, Wisdom - Bahavana-Maya Panna being the wisdom gained through direct, personal experience. These discourses provided food for reflection and were a silver thread throughout the retreat. The discourse hour was always relaxed, as Goenka is an outstanding teacher and story teller and has a great sense of humor. Our evening reward!

Most pains went away progressively after terrible, frightening peaks on day 4, and hours of practice, observing pain as closely as possible while letting go of my well-honed “aversion-to-pain” reactions such as “this is hurting, I have to change positions!”.

My famous last words to Paolo, a fellow yoga student, before heading up the hill to Vipassana, were: “With my experience of pain, I can do pain”. I discovered that it wasn’t that simple; that I had a lot of anxiety, past memories and emotions bundled along with the pains … that I also had to let go of! I learned that these were called sankharas.

Sankharas
Pains or pleasurable sensations that arise are called “sankharas”, meaning fruit of the past. It also means seed of the future. Every reaction creates a sankhara. We create them every time we react to a sensation with craving or aversion. The Vipassana process aims to let the sankharas arise and pass; each time we do so we eradicate an old sankhara and avoid creating a new one. Little by little we eradicate our stock of past cravings, past aversions and make progress on the path of equanimity. It was crystal-clear to me that the pains, past memories and emotions that were surfacing to my awareness qualified as sankharas. When I could let them pass without reacting, by just observing them, they would completely disappear. Completely!

Meanwhile, back in the meditation hall, my equanimity was pretty erratic… or perhaps should I say “impermanent”.

The entire experience was a roller-coaster ride, with little sense of progressing from one day to the next. I had inner experiences of total quietness and peace, my consciousness soaring to elated heights, my body’s absolute stillness, its most subtle sensations, all this with a fulfilling sense of discovery and progress. In the same day, I would feel shrilling pain, react to it by restlessness and posture shifting and feel helpless, in despair and self-pity. Still later, I could remain totally immobile for the prescribed hour and pains that I could observe literally stabbing my back for 40 minutes, without me reacting, would all of a sudden disappear and totally vanish, without leaving the slightest sign of tension. As though they had never, ever existed…

A fellow student had an extreme acute arm pain for several years that totally disappeared during our retreat, after not reacting to it when it was peaking at its highest.

Vipassana instruction per se started day 4. From the heightened awareness we had developed through the observation of our breath, day 3 we were asked to focus only on the sensations arising on and in our nose and upper lip area. Only nose and upper lip area.

The nose focus was a first step towards the full-body scanning that was introduced to us the afternoon of day 4. The technique is to sit totally immobile and scan the entire body from head to feet for any and every sensation. Feeling continual changes in our physical sensations gives us the direct experience that our body is in permanent flux; just like any other matter, it is composed of sub-atomic particles arising and passing away. We experience that there is no stable state of “I” and that by observing the sensations and not reacting, we actually can access their ephemeral, changing nature, experience and observe our body as an entity of vibrating energy.

Actually observing subtle physical sensations like sweat coming to the skin’s surface is fascinating; I felt my facial hair growing, my skull’s skin undulating, my blood flowing, temperature differences between tops and bottoms of my ears, energy flowing along my legs to my feet and back… I was able to explore the inside of my body like never before, ligaments under my knees, muscles, tendons, my skull cavity.

The following 4 days I spent learning the scanning technique and finding myself “in search of the perfect posture”, trying to avoid pain by engineering it away… Not the focus of the retreat; getting comfy to avoid sensations is not the objective. The end goal is to overcome craving and aversion reactions, reduce and eradicate our sankharas. Kamala would often get a glimpse of me from the woman’s side, thoughtfully re-establishing my sitting area for the next session. An Indian neighbor had two positions he alternated, with the help of two small cushions, while I was shifting, layering, folding, spreading, interchanging cushions. I made progress as to what did or didn’t work and on the ninth day I stripped my area and went back to the simple posture I’ve practiced for years – and dealt with the pains that arose.

My agitation or quietness and varied from one session to another, totally unpredictable. When I talked to our teacher about it, he looked at me with his caring smile and simply said “Anicca” (pronounced aneecha), the Pali term for impermanence. He was pointing out to me that my learning curve was inconsistent, like everything else. Impermanent,… and not to worry about it.

We have to get over it, there is absolutely no linearity, no stable state in human experience.
In any given day, any given hour, we go through a multitude of physical, mental and emotional states, ever changing, coming and going, arising and passing. And we like to think of ourselves and present ourselves as constant, stable beings.

I lack words to describe the power of 100 people silently meditating together for an hour in total quietness and peace. It’s a beautiful and moving example of the harmony human beings can create when they so desire.

My quietest moments brought breakthroughs in my awareness of physical sensations and in my ability to consciously develop equanimity.

The last day we broke the silence and had a lighter schedule so I got to meet fellow students and share impressions. Everyone had gone through highly agitated and deeply quiet moments. Those I talked with all felt moved and transformed for the better by the experience.

Kamala and I were also able to talk to each other that day. We were so moved that we agreed not to even attempt to find words or share insights immediately. We felt profoundly peaceful, with a new quality of balance and equanimity; the feeling has been lasting for the past 2 weeks as we’re integrating the experience through mindful practice in our day to day life.

I felt my mind and my body had been clarified, simplified and purified. As one of the deepest inner experiences I’ve had, it brought me a bit further in my quest of wisdom and knowledge of my Self… It reminded me of when we ended our two weeks of fasting in Thailand last February. We had taken a journey within, and cared for our very inner selves.

The shifts I’ve noticed in my attitude since this retreat lead me to think how critical a skill it is to withdraw within one’s self and “get our house cleaned up”, in order to be better people, to act thoughtfully in the world and live life to its fullest.

If you’ve read this far, this might have perked your interest. Here’s a great book that gives a clear, concise overview of Vipassana philosophy and technique: “The Art of Living” by William Hart, Harper and Row, 1987.

Saturday, August 2, 2008

Back to blogging – the update

Wow! The last entry I posted was way back in Varanasi, early April… Could that actually have been 4 months ago? Believe it or not, I have recomposed these first lines of this blog entry probably 100 times in my head, over and over… Sometimes while doing yoga, sometimes when going to sleep, on hikes, while eating or meditating. I was thinking of the silence created over time, the potential loss of interest of you all, the commitment I made to keep it up, albeit irregularly and infrequently. It’s felt just like when I put off writing an email or a letter to someone. It gnaws and gnaws at me, but I still procrastinate and put it off a bit more.

The bottom line is that during this period I have definitely been into my Inner Journey to India.

If you wish to see the pictures at your own pace, full screen, slide show etc... log on to: www.picasaweb.google.com/Frenchyrjm



Days, weeks and months go by here with a muffled sense of time. We are living outside of our usual environment and seasons. Reference points such as holidays and social customs lack to punctuate our life and give us our bearings. We live by the local cycles - very different from the US -, in this country where the notion of time itself is completely elastic. As you will read further, in our case the yoga study program became our daily and weekly rhythm...

McLeodganj is perched a few miles above Dharamsala and is the home to the majority of Tibetan refugees in the area. The Tibetan government in Exile is located between Dharamsala and McLeodganj. Dharamkot, where we lived for these past 4 months is a little village of farms, houses, guesthouses and little restaurants spread out across a small valley and its surrounding hills, with no vehicle access, about a mile above McLeodganj, at 6000 feet (2000m) altitude.



Planning on staying several months at the Himalaya Iyengar Yoga Center (HIYC) (http://www.hiyogacentre.com/), we wanted to be close to our yoga study/practice and have more space than just a hotel or guesthouse bedroom. We rapidly rented the only apartment/house available in the entire valley from Sharat Arora, the yoga teacher. We had a small living room, a bed loft above, a bathroom without hot water, and a kitchen and hot shower one level below, down a rough, outdoor staircase. Read “walk in the dark and the rain for shower or cooking”. The furniture was one coffee table, one chair, a few mattresses as sofa and some cushions to sit on. And we felt so blessed to find exactly what we had wanted – at least the two essential criteria. Hot water in the bathroom would have been sheer bliss... Doesn't contentment have a lot to do with defining priorities and just letting go of non-priorities? And by the way, had we arrived a week later the house would have been occupied by old students who wanted it!

Sharat is a senior student of BKS Iyengar (http://www.bksiyengar.com/, http://www.iyengar-yoga.com/). Iyengar has been a prominent yoga master and author, who during the 20th century brought yoga to new levels of precision, alignment and body-mind awareness. Our schedule was immediately set. Thursday through Monday became our week, Tuesday and Wednesday our weekend. We woke at 4:50 am; I would open the hall at 5:00 for students’ access, start practice at 6:00 and attend class until 10:00.



The benefits from this yoga learning have been immense for me. They range from relieving many of my postural misalignments, physical tensions and pains (a result of numerous accidents, broken limbs and demanding physical work 25 years ago), to a heightened awareness of my body and its direct correlation with my mindset, morale and inner experience. It’s been an intense, painful and challenging journey and it's far from being over. I have realized what an unbalanced body I have been living with/in and the distance that remains to be covered just to come to basic physical harmony and feel that I’m currently addressing ailments that would just develop more and more in the coming years. Beyond rehabilitation lies the infinite depth of the yoga experience; I am already discovering more subtle levels of my body, mind and spirit over time.

After practice we would rest, have breakfast / lunch at home or at a local restaurant and spend the afternoon doing household chores -that the very basic living conditions made quite work-intensive-. We would also hike around the small hills and valleys, visit with fellow yoga students, walk into town for shopping and email, or stay home to edit the hundreds of pictures we took, play guitar or just read. We even started to learn silver jewelry making, that I pursued further.

But no writing!
Partly due to a severe right hand “trigger thumb” condition that had developed in Thailand, most probably induced by the considerable self-moves of our two houses back in California, my extensive journaling in Thailand, as well as several years of hourly use of my Treo email phone that I operated only with my thumbs. Beware PDA/Blackberry/Treo owners! I see a new type of work injury emerging, years after computer-work introduced carpal tunnel syndrome. The trigger thumb finally healed just a week ago, as a result of 2 cortisone injections (yuk), after 5 months of very limited use of my right hand.



Partly because I just needed to embrace the local life, paced by the monsoon weather, and not attempt to put into words my very inner experience... nor spend time on the keyboard and web technology (about 10-12 hours per blog all included).

Our sojourn and yoga study in Dharamkot lasted just short of 4 months, ending with a 10 day silent Vipassana meditation retreat (http://www.dhamma.org/). We left about a week ago and after traveling a full day and night, arrived in Rajpur, located an hour from Rishikesh, in Northern India. We are now attending a 3 week Iyengar yoga program at the Yog-Ganga Center for Yoga Studies (http://www.yog-ganga.com/). Senior students of BKS Iyengar, Rajiv and Swati Chanchani are giving us a complementary approach and perspective that will enhance the solid and so precise foundations that Sharat taught us at HIYC.

We’re also discovering a new environment after having been so firmly settled for 4 months in such a sweet little valley. It was tough to leave, repack and become itinerant again, though the timing was perfect for us to move on to new places, people and challenges.

I almost forgot, late June I made a 6 day return-trip Himalayas-Manhattan-Himalayas for Meaghan, my daughter’s graduation from the International Center of Photography. She just finished her Master’s degree in Photojournalism. My dear friends Bernard and Catherine put me up in their apartment and Bernard came to the inauguration of ICP exhibit Meaghan was participating in. My sister Ann and nephew Alex flew in from California, my brother John and his wife Sheri from Texas, and my mother Jef from Provence. We had a 3 day family reunion celebrating Meagan’s successful end of studies and her the commencement of her photography and journalism career. She’s now back in Grenoble, France, in her first paying photography job, taking wedding pictures.



Mid August we’ll be heading to the Nepalese border for a visa run, then down to Chennai, in Southern India for 2 months of study at the Krishnamacharya Yoga Mandiram (http://www.kym.og/).

I’m planning to do some Global Human Resources consulting work in the November–December timeframe, preferably in Chennai/Bangalore, otherwise somewhere else in the world, and we’ll spend the winter in Kerala, the Southeastern state of India known for Ayurveda medicine, high literacy and a great quality of life.

This is just a quick catch-up, long due. The next postings will include Sweet Valley and People of Dharamkot, Yoga of organizations, Monastic Experience of Vipassana Meditation, Turning 50 in India, Tibetan Exile Brothers Connection, How Perfect Things Can Be When I Let Go of Control and Handle My Priorities, Kamala and Ricard's Top Ten budget traveler luxury items, and Nurturing Love.

Namaste and blessings to all,